Meg Higgins

You are sitting in therapy watching your therapist's lips move while she tells you for the fourth time that her cousin is gay and just got a “very butch” haircut. You can’t help thinking, “She just doesn’t get it.”

He misgenders you, or forgets your partner’s pronouns, she pulls out Food and Mood, and he talks about how apple cider vinegar might be the solution to all your problems. She hasn't lived in a fat body. He hasn’t experienced homophobia or heterosexism from the inside. What initially seemed like a small hill to climb in your relationship has started to feel like a mountain.

Maybe she tells you your black top is so slimming. Maybe once he referred to queer people as ‘homosexuals.’ Maybe, when you report your experiences of oppression, she tells you that the other party probably meant well and just wanted you to be healthier or have it easier in the world.

You don’t trust him with your whole self, how can you? You’ve tried so many therapists in the past and she’s not that bad, is she? You continue to hope that therapy with a therapist who doesn’t quite get it will be enough to meet your needs.

It’s not enough.

You deserve a therapist who understands your lived experiences. You deserve a therapist who knows what it’s like to have your doctor prescribe weight loss to treat arthritis in your wrists, and who can truly hear it when you tell them about your experience with your homophobic aunt at Thanksgiving. You deserve a therapist who approaches the world with a solid intersectional anti-oppression framework that sees society, rather than some flaw in you, as the central piece of your problem.

I can be that therapist. I’m fat, I’m queer, I have an intersectional lens, and I want to dismantle systems of oppression one client session at a time.